It’s the end of April, which means two things for us pop culture fanatics:

1) It’s every *NSYNC fan’s favorite holiday.

2) We have officially entered Spoiler Season.

If you weren’t lucky enough to snag a ticket to Marvel’s Avengers: Infinity War this weekend, and if you have some semblance of a life that keeps you from watching the season finale of each of your shows live—or enough shows that watching them all live is impossible—you’re now in the difficult position of choosing between dodging every spoiler until you can get yourself to a theater or press play on your DVR, and resigning yourself to knowing every plot twist and cliffhanger before you have the chance to see it firsthand.

In the age of leaked footage and within-the-hour online recaps, there are just too many ways to be spoiled to avoid them all. So how do you prioritize? Which surprises do you sacrifice? Which spoilers do you read, and which spoilers do you leave?

You’ve come to the right place, my friends, because I, your over emotionally invested consumer of media, have put my years of TV, book, and movie consumption to good use and compiled The Definitive Guide to Spoilerdom.

Read on and go confidently in the direction of summer blockbusters. Curate the entertainment experience you’ve always imagined.

*Warning: Reading spoilers is not a guarantee and may not actually prepare you.