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Your Guide to: Back-to-School TV

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August 30, 2018
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Whether you’re already in the middle of your second week of classes or counting down the last precious days of summer; whether you’re putting the finishing touches on your classroom or just finding it difficult to resist the allure of the school supplies section of Target, it’s undeniable—that back-to-school feeling is in the air.

And it’s got me thinking—what better way to ring in the new school year than with a mini-marathon of the best in back-to-school episodes TV has to offer?

So sharpen your pencils and take note because we’re counting down the top three in first-day-of-school TV:

#3. “Pilot” Veronica Mars, season 1, episode 1

Between her missing mom, her murdered best friend, the loss of her reputation, and a list of enemies that includes the wealthiest families in town, as well as their extremely popular children, you’d think Veronica Mars would be too beholden to its twentieth-century take on film noir to find any time for levity or laughs. But in an episode that addresses classism, date rape, and the abuse of power by authority, there’s still time for an Ocean’s–11­-worthy heist that all hinges on a custom-made bong and mandatory locker checks. The heist is enough to seal the deal on Veronica’s series’ long friendship with Wallace, score her a whole motorcycle gang of allies, and make you wish you had the connections and savvy to start off your junior year by embarrassing both the jack ass who makes your high school days a living hell and the local sheriff’s department all in one go.

There’s a reason Veronica Mars—both the show and the character—is a fan favorite. Veronica is everything you want in a female lead—clever, gutsy, funny, witty, tough, determined, principled, vulnerable, emotional—and this first episode is the perfect introduction.

#2. “The Lorelais’ First Day at Yale” Gilmore Girls, season 4, episode 2

The transition from high school to college isn’t an easy one to make—in real life or on TV—and yet that’s exactly how the Gilmore girls make it look, transitioning seamlessly (minus an extra mattress or two) from Stars Hollow to Yale, all while maintaining their signature blend of grace, humor, and mother-daughter devotion.

Any one of a dozen different bits could have qualified this episode to make the cut—the absurd hilarity of Paris showing up as Rory’s roommate, Terrence the life coach and craft corner in tow; Lorelai and Luke’s endless (and rather domestic) bickering over the use of his truck; the coining of Copper boom! as the only acceptable way of ending a conversation in a hurry—but what really secures its place on the list is its honest portrayal of the genuine heartache of being separated. Because despite however excited Rory and Lorelai may be for Rory to start Yale, it also means saying goodbye. It doesn’t matter how many years it’s been since you first left home or whether you ever have—watching Rory stand alone in her empty dorm room and Lorelai come home to an empty house is enough to make anyone homesick.

#1. “Pilot” Pretty Little Liars, season 1, episode 1

How could an episode where the guy from the steamy bar bathroom make-out on the last day of summer is revealed to be the hot new English teacher on the first day of school not top the list of best back-to-school episodes?

And that’s all before the opening credits.

There are enough juicy secrets in this first episode of Pretty Little Liars to fill a blog post all on their own, and that’s precisely what makes it so delicious. PLL is everything you wish high school was and everything you’re so grateful it isn’t: Everyone is way more attractive, way more fashionable, and has way less homework, but everyone is also way more deceitful, way more vindictive, and way more suspected of murder.

But it isn’t just the scandal and the now-iconic mystery stalker A that earns Pretty Little Liars the #1 spot on our list; it’s the ride-or-die friendship between the liars themselves: Aria, Hanna, Spencer, and Emily. It doesn’t matter that they start the episode more estranged than ever, driven apart by Allison’s disappearance. When the police find (at least what they think is) Allison’s body, the distance all but evaporates and they pick up right where they left off, bonded by the secrets they’ve sworn to keep, the ones they share, and even the ones they don’t. For friends like that, all the drama seems almost worth it. Almost.

So, what do you think? Too much murder, not enough comedy? Which shows make you think back-to-school?

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Graduation Station

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April 20, 2018
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Finals and freedom. Polyester robes and ill-fitting caps. Tassels, yearbooks, and Vitamin C’s seminal 1999 classic.

Yep, you guessed it, it’s graduation time.

Commencement may be a few weeks away, but now’s the time to start shopping for that perfect graduation gift. You can check out our entire line of “graduated cylinder” products here, and to help you get in the matriculation spirit, I’ve put together a list of my Top Three TV Graduation Moments. Without further ado:

#3. “What a Difference a Day Makes” Grey’s Anatomy, season 5, episode 22

Technically, it’s a wedding episode, but the case of the week is a car full of kids brought into the ER after their SUV gets hit by a semi—on the day of their college graduation. It’s Grey’s at its finest: Devastating yet somehow life affirming, with enough signature snark to make the whole episode worth the dizzying trip through the emotional wringer.

The shining moment—even more so than Alex and Izzie’s surprise wedding—and the reason it makes the list, is the speech Becca, the only one to survive, recites to Alex before she goes under for surgery. Unlike many written-for-TV valedictory addresses, this feels like one you might actually hear at a graduation ceremony. It’s equal parts hopeful and sincere; a reminder of just how young we still are when we graduate from college made all the more tragic as Becca’s voice plays over the faces of her friends who didn’t make it. I dare you not to cry.

#2. “Those Are Strings, Pinocchio” Gilmore Girls, season 3, episode 22

There are two Gilmore graduations that could have made this list, but as much as we are all proud of Rory for graduating from Yale, this one is a no-brainer: Rory’s Chilton graduation is the clear winner.

Where do I even start? Luke and Jackson’s reverent discussion of Chilton’s centuries-old architecture? (“Wow, look at the gargoyles.”) Sookie bumping her way in and out of her row at least four times? Brad’s musical farewell? (“Bong, bong!”) Lorelai and Rory sticking their tongues out in celebration? I regret my standard, smiling graduation photo every time.

My favorite, though, has got to be Luke—that old softie—crying during the ceremony. (“I’m blubbering; you’re freaks!”) And who can blame him? Rory’s sweet, heartfelt tribute to Emily, Richard, and Lorelai still makes me shed a tear.

#1. “Pilot” Felicity, season 1, episode 1

Has there ever been a graduation moment more enduringly swoonworthy than Ben writing in Felicity’s yearbook? A graduation moment more life-altering or with such great hair?

I think not.

Is Felicity’s decision to abandon her parents’ Stanford plans and follow Ben 3,000 miles to New York City impulsive? Sure. Reckless? Maybe. But it’s a decision that sparks the next four seasons of quintessential late-90s television, and I mean, after reading a note like that, who wouldn’t? Ben is a total heartthrob. (Have I mentioned the hair?)

But this moment tops the list because it isn’t really about the boy or even the next four years. It’s about Felicity taking a risk for the first time, making a decision and choosing the life she wants—the life she can create—even if it’s a life her parents don’t understand. It perfectly captures that feeling of stepping out into the world on your own: terrifying and thrilling—because anything can happen. After all, aren’t the best endings the ones that feel like beginnings?

So, how’d I do? Too much sappy, not enough funny? What’d I miss? Was my vote for Felicity swayed by my love for Peter Gabriel?