I recently blew through the entire first two and-a-half seasons of Orange Is the New Black. In one episode the inmates wrote pieces for a prison newspaper. One wrote in an editorial, “I could care less.” Another inmate explained that her peer ought to have written, “I couldn’t care less,” as the former suggests a sense of care whereas the intent was that the issue was entirely inconsequential. Another inmate interjected that colloquial use trumps proper syntax. To support her argument she then sited use of the word “literally.”

My world crashed down on me.

Not literally.

Language and all of its rules matter. This would be way better if right now I were to provide data and empirical evidence, but I have neither. I couldn’t think of any solid reasons aside from my mild superiority complex; I communicate well, therefore I belong to a greater breed of humans.

As awesome as that would be were it true, I don’t think I like the idea. It’s too judgmental and degrading for a human as kind and tolerant as I am.

We should all communicate properly because we can. Everyone communicates and everyone uses language, i.e., a body of common words and systems, to do it, be it English, Spanish, sign language, clicks and whistles, or Mandarin. Everyone learns and uses language to convey thoughts to others. Why, if we all demonstrate that we have learned language, do we not all use it properly? Apathy? Defiance? Insufficient education?

I am going to passively contemplate it while I binge watch more OITNB and probably for the rest of my life. Side note: Ever since the aforementioned episode I have fought hard to not totally resent Piper Chapman. In the meantime, share where you stand. Why do some of us communicate improperly? Further, when and how should we correct our not-so-well-spoken brethren? And just because I’m curious, have you caught yourself using a word like “literally” the wrong way?