Two Years Ago…

Two years ago, our lives changed forever. That’s when my daughter received her autism diagnosis. We finally had the answers to many questions we had, but honestly, there are even more questions I don’t know that we’ll ever have answers to.

I am not a “winging it” type of person. I like plans; I like having backups for those plans. What I like even more is having a backup to that backup. Autism parenting kind of throws that out of the window. Sure, I can make some plans like where she’s going to school and which doctor she’s going to see, but beyond that? Nope.

People ask me questions like:
“Will she ever talk ‘normal?’”
“Will she be able to go to regular school?”
“What caused her autism?”
“Will she ever live on her own?”

The answers to all of those questions are, “I have no idea.” That’s a hard reality to face at times, not knowing why your child is that way or if she will ever lead a self-sufficient life, but what I’ve come to learn is that it’s okay to not know the answers to these questions. I absolutely hope to find out answers to some of these questions, like what causes autism, but for now, we know a new “normal.” My normal may not look similar to 99.8% of the population–heck, it may not look like the normal to other autism families, either–but this is now our lives and that’s okay. It involves a lot of unknowns. It also involves a lot of hard work, but there’s a whole lot of love. There’s love from all directions: her family, her teachers, her therapists, her support staff, all of our friends.

We don’t know what the future holds for my daughter, but we are now surrounded by a massive team that will help us figure that out as we go.

To do my part, I am selling tees where 100% of the proceeds go to the amazing school she attends. It’s an amazing place that we are fortunate to have found and I’m unbelievably happy to have it be a part of our new “normal.”

This year’s designs can be found here:

The Autism Spectrum

Whenever someone hears that my daughter is on the autism spectrum, he or she typically asks me, “How autistic is she?”

They seem to be asking how severe the autism is. Is she really autistic or is she just a little autistic?

Well, it’s not that simple.

I admit that I used to think of the autism spectrum as a linear being: You could be severely affected or maybe a little and maybe somewhere in between. That’s also typically how it is described, even by professionals.

When my daughter was initially diagnosed last year by a developmental pediatrician, there were symptoms and behaviors checked off a list during the evaluation; if you met so many of the criteria, you were considered to be on the spectrum. In my daughter’s evaluation, if she met 4 of these areas, she made the spectrum. My daughter met 12 out of 13. So if you were to think about the spectrum as a lineal chart, 4 would be a little autistic and 13 would be severe, right? This meant my daughter was categorized as severely autistic with severe developmental delays.

This type of diagnosis shaped how I thought about my daughter’s autism: My one and only child has autism and on a scale of 1-10, it is a 9+. I thought she was severely autistic. Then Rebecca Burgess came out with a phenomenal comic and my entire perspective changed.

The spectrum isn’t linear, it’s more like a circle. You can be on-target or advanced in one area, but struggle with another. This not only shows areas in which a person can struggle, but it also shows their strengths; it’s a really great way to look at the spectrum. Also, it shows how each person isn’t just a number on a lineal scale; they fit somewhere on a very complex chart. Since this chart is a much larger space than a 1-10 lineal chart, one can also see how people on the autism spectrum can be so different from one another. The saying goes, “When you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism.” That’s because each person is so unique.

Now that we’ve completed story time, I will get to the point of this post. This is a great way to look at the spectrum and I want to get the idea of this better spectrum out there. That’s why I am going to sell shirts and totes with this exceptional visualization of the spectrum. I have been fortunate enough to be able to work with Rebecca Burgess to bring this idea to life.

As you may know, I designed and printed autism awareness shirts last year and 100% of the proceeds went to a non-profit school that specializes in the education of children with autism (and other developmental delays). Since it was a great success and we were able to raise $2,000 in a very short time, I would like to do the same thing this year. I want to sell these tees and donate all of the profits to this amazing school that continues to change my daughter’s life for the better every day.

You can get the products here:

autism spectrum new men's autism spectrum new women's v neck autism spectrum new tote